Posted by Barry Duke, Last Updated: 8 days ago

This time the whistle blower website uncovered several secret documents from SHC executive meetings. Among the documents was a bizarre request from Chiefs captain Andy Sigfrids

Dear Execs

I think it has become obvious by filling my team with Americans that I have created a truly superior team as shown by  our recent team of the week nomination. I think we can take this further by getting rid of the few Canadians and Euros I was forced to draft. I mean we really are getting tired of Duncan Smith talking about Paul Henderson’s goal back in ’72. Pffft – he knows that irrelevant fact but can’t name a single Minnesota high school championship team. Not only would we like an all American team, I would like to take it one step further and have an all Minnesota team. If we get rid of the waiguoren from Canada and Sweden, why not take it a step further and get rid of the waidiren from outside of Minnesota too. Sure they are Americans but they are not Minnesotans. We are tired of hockey players from Massachusetts  that spit on the ice, the players from Michigan that talk too loud in the locker rooms and players from the western states that steal your wallets as soon as you leave the room. I suggest we have a ‘pure hockey’ team made up of just Minnesotans. I guess it’s OK if the league has a team each from the other 2 major hockey states – New York and California - but they will of course be inferior.

Regards

Captain Andy 'Gopher' Sigfrids

Wikileaks also released a response to the Exec’s from one of Sigfrids own players:

Dear Execs

I feel I must voice the feelings of the  non-Minnesotans on our team -  that captain Sigfrids must be stopped. He and his fellow Minnesotans treat the rest of us like outsiders. We do all the hard work while they take the best locker room stalls and most of the ice time. They are also so rude to us. If 2 Minnesotans and a New England team mate are at a table the Minnesotans will switch to their local dialect so the guy from New England can’t understand them – how rude!! These guys need to be put in their place.

Yours truly

Steve Scheonberger

Other less interesting letters were also released including the Fog Devil captain Corey Sorento's now annual request to award teams points for 'moral victories' and reduce the emphasis on the actual goal differential in games.  Townie captain and head Zebra Tim Gardner made a  request to add a long list of new penalties to the SHC rule book including 2 minutes for smiling while losing and a 5 minute major for speaking French during a game. Meanwhile Expos captain Zack Anderson requested 3 more Jr A players for his team to get them up to .500 hockey. It is not known if or when the SHC exec will act on any of these requests.