The Pylons are a team fueled by steroids, baijiu and cheap lamb kebabs. Their secret is the horseshoes lodged in their backsides. They like to be cruel to small animals and to taunt old people. Never let a pylon be alone with your relatives. The pylons have no souls.

On a brighter note, there are no finer people you will find than the Red Guards. The Guards stand for freedom, democracy, and hockey for all. They will stop to sign your child's autograph book. They even pay their taxes on time.

Down with the Pylons. Go Guards!!!